Monthly Archives: November 2004

listening to: my Guardian angel – Shallum Xavier

At first it was a nutshell, but when the world changed, my eyes opened and took in too many insecurities. Those insecurities have now become a part of me i can never get rid of. They haunt my every thought and flood each passing moment of my life with untamed emotions. I must thank you for ripping those insecurities from the deepest depths of my existence, tormenting them, abusing them, nurturing them and placing them right back where you found them. It’s made me weaker and more a part of you than ever before.

There she was, standing before his very eyes. Why his mind was saturated with those thoughts was understandable; still, an invisible barrier broke off any channel of communication between the two of them. She was looking away the whole time, not noticing his pain, or perhaps, not wanting to. She had always been weak and unable to see anyone hurting. Somehow, a hidden strength helped her as she suffered in silence for what seemed like a lifetime.
Finally, he gathered whatever confidence he had left in him and opened his mouth to speak. Silence. Again. Silence. In times of need, words had always failed him when tears stood by his side and nothing was different this time.
When the silence had become too unbearable, she looked towards him. It was the first time their eyes had met. Anger. Hate. Love. Jealousy.
A melange of uncontrollable emotions surged through them the moment they set eyes on each other; as they sought out the same confusion in each others’ eyes, all they found was a bizarre calmness. He didn’t stop watching her until she was forced to lower her gaze and gradually, that familiar smile crept onto her face. And in an instant, they parted their ways without exchanging a word. He could’ve lived a thousand lives just to go back to that moment; it was all that he asked for and more. He wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Even though you may not be by my side
In this crazy world
i’ll pull through
just knowing that i caught
a glimpse of your face
as the rush passed me by

Aww i love this movie 

The time has come

First things first: WOOHOO!! I officially have my very own laptop! It was official a while ago, but now i’m actually using it so it’s all the more official now. Alhamdulillah i’m one happy baby at this moment:)
Also i have finally gotten the chance to use Hello so *yayy*
Till the next post…

(I’m on holiday, so please, by all means expect at least 2 posts a day.)
Did i mention how great it feels to be freeeeee?? If not, you’ll be hearing a lot of it over the next week-10 days
After sleeping aaram se, eating ammi ke haath ka khaana and doing some quality TP at the mall, an unwanted yet strangely relaxing form of khwaari has struck. And during these periods of khwaari i’ve realised something : i’ve forgotten how to write or i simply never knew how. Yes!!! I mean just read this pathetic-waste-of-web space for proof And this tragedy had to strike a DAY after i find out i’ve finally been enrolled for 2/3 social sciences courses i registered for. I registered for 3 thinking, yeah there’s no way i’ll actually get them, but apparently fate already had other plans. So here i am now, with my plate full of SS courses and severe writer’s block. Miss Wannabe-SS Major will have to revert back to Plan A. Or miraculously conjure a Plan C. Wish me luck

On the other hand, there’s a constant uneasiness in the air. X is gradually losing touch with reality and it scares me that there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Y had lost touch a long time ago, so things haven’t really changed. X and Y are always so perfect together. But when you add Z into the picture, that absolute perfection dwindles down to a mere fragment of nothingness. Over time, in just an instant you’re rocketing sky-high; but otherwise, it’s all downhill. I guess i’ll have to set aside my perpetual fear of rollercoaster rides for now, because it seems like i’ve been tightly strapped into one.